Never ending stupidity!

And that would apply to me.
I was thinking about all the mistakes I did in the past...and still do. I can't seem to find anything wrong with my behavior..and still I lose and get betrayed by close friends. I know human nature is very flawed. I don't deny that, but I still don't get where I go wrong with this friendship thing. I keep asking myself, if I am as selfish as I see myself to be, but then I would imagine that people would get tired of my behavior and would tell me something, right? Still , everyone keeps silent.
Why do I keep trusting people?! Why don't I have special radar , so that I can sniff out people, before getting involved and offering my 100 % ? Someone told me , that friendships, are social contracts.
I never thought about a friendship as being "just something" . For me a friendship used to mean "that, something that I have in me, and offering it more than 100%". I trust people to easy, thinking that if I am being honest , than the other person must be the same way. How naive of me! even after all this time! I sometimes hate myself for putting my feelings out there , in front of everyone , and giving people the chance to hurt me, but at the same time , I know that , is what sets me apart from everyone!
Me trying to give my all in a friendship is what I am , who I am . I have lost two of my dearest friends , and as much as I don't want to admit I will never replace them . Ever. But that doesn't mean that I don't have the right to hate them! To wallow in memories and then hate them all over again.
Life is complicated , but friendship is even harder , because it takes two to make a friendship work , and if one of the participants wont give anything they have it will never work. Life?!...it is easier because you alone can make life work, with no need from others. There are people out there , that don't even understand the meaning of friendship, but are doing just fine. Even though I think that is sad, I sometimes wonder , why can't I be one of those people, that never have to feel the lost of a good friend and trying to pick the pieces up and move on?
Because , then I wouldn't be me.