I feel like I dont belong here, nor there any longer.I feel like an old soul trapped. Why do I even think that maybe...maybe someday I will change the world when deep down I know that the world doesnt want to be changed? We are so used to evil, to hurting others, to not care that it frightens me. I wish I could help everyone I cross paths with, but I realize it is something that is impossible. I wish I could find a way to solve everyone's problems!
I look at the world around me and I am disgusted with it. It is like we only care about having more, everyday more...where did stopping time and just enjoying what we got today , not what were going to get tomorrow go? It seems that with each passing day we became more and more depraved, selfish and completely lost.
Why is it so hard to do good, without expecting something in return? Maybe my education is finally starting to surface. I never understood why as kids we always had to turn the other cheek , to never expect anything from anyone when doing good. And to always put ourselves second and others first. I finally understand it. It is our actions that make us who we are, our character. It is what people remember most often. Actions and character. It is an amazing feeling to be able to help, but not expect anything. Just the thought that you helped someone is enough.
I guess losing teaches you a lot of small things about yourself also. I've lost good friends, that I never thought I would lose. I learned that when time comes, you have to let go.I learned that if life takes from one side, gives back on the other. Strange isn't it? We always learn from small experiences , even when it doesn't feel like it.
I learned to forgive , because I realized that is the only way to move forward. I learned that it is alright to feel betrayed, mad, hurt, but we always have to forgive. It makes me feel, like I tried to do everything I could , but it just wasn't in the cards. Not everything works the way we want it to work. I learned that too.
Helping people is something that shouldn't feel like an obligation, or a commitment, because that isn't helping, it is exactly that: an obligation.
Guess, it is too hard to stop and think that if we would need help we would want someone else to stop and help or care ...