Happy

The only thing that i can really say is that: I AM GOING HOME!!!!!!!
What more can i really say??? that im overlly excited and happy and ecstatic???
I`ve been waiting three years for this to happen!!!!!!

Dude thats so radical!

This is so boring, so very boring tananananana .Ah this is going to be a very ,veeeeery long day at work! Its Friday !!!!And even thought i dint really do much on Monday Or Wed. Fridays are a draaaaaaag . I dont really have customers so yeah i just get to sit my behind on the chair, and write blogs and research the internet! How cool is that? Not so much ! But at least i have time to study and do my homework and i also have an awesome boss. He is in Arkansas so basically I am my own boss. I open the office and i also close it (dohh) .Last night we kinda had a party because my babys gonna be 22 ...awww hes getting old lol. And him and his marines buddies were trying to get me to drink lol. Like im an idiot. First I dont really see anything attracting in puking and having headaches and besides i had to work the next day. I know i dont have boss to check up on me but i still have work ethic !
And as i said i dont really see anything fun in drinking til you cant talk or at least remeber what you did...i have a totally different definition of fun.The only reason y i hate drinking is because i got drunk once and it got pretty nasty! I hate throwing up! And as a girl i really think it is like self degrading to drink to the point that you dont have no control over your actions, and no im not religious ,even thought as hard as it may seem i do believe in God ! As the control freak that i am , getting drunk makes you lose control over everything, and i dont see that as a good thing , no matter who your drinking mates are.Only got drunk once in my life and it was enoght for me :) and i am also proud to say i have never smoked weed :0 yay me. I was a goodies girl ehehehe and i am not a child interested in trying any of it . People around me tried all the time to convince me to try it :"because its cool, any other kid will do it" neah thats not really me...at least not in that.I have seen what addiction does to a person and i sweared ill never go thru it ever again.( not me , a person really close to me) so yeah. It was really funny thought seeing them trying so hard thinking that i may give up at one point ahahahah .

We have time

The poem below was written by Octavian Paler , a romanian writer and i translated it for those who like to stop and think from time to time to what are we really doing ...


We have time for everything.
To sleep, to run left and right ,
To regret our mistakes, and to fail again
To judge others ,and to absolve ourselves from our sins
We have time to write and read
To correct what we`wrote, and to regret it also
We have time to make plans , and to not respect them
We have time for dreams, and to go through their ashes later,
We have time for ambitions and sickness,
To blame destiny and the details
We have time to weatch the clouds, the commercials, or an accident ,
We have time to postpone questions , to postpone the answers,
We have time to kill a dream and later reinvent it ,
We have time to make friends, and to lose them,
We have time to receive lectures, and to forget them also,
We have time to receive gifts and to no tunderstand them,
We have time for everything.
But there is no time for a little love, kindness
When we want to do it, We die,
I have learned a few things in life that i want to share with you !!
I have learned that you cant force someone to love you
The only thing you can to is to be a lovable person.
The rest depends on the people around you .
I have learned that however much i care,
Others might not.
I have learned that it takes years to win trust
And that in a few seconds you might lose it!
I have learned that it doesnt matter WHAT you have in life but Who you have.
I learned that your charm will help you for about 15 minutes,
After that , you better know something,
I have learned that you dont have to compare yourself with what others can do better .
But with what you can do better.
I have learned that it doesnt matter what happens to people,
But what can I do to solve it,
I have learned that however you cut it,
Everything has two sides,
I have learned that when you have to say goodbye to someone you love, you have to be kind,
It might be the last time you see them .
I learned that you can keep going ,long after you said you cant ,
I have learned that HEROEs are those who do what needs to be done , at the right time,
No matter the consequences ,
There are people that love you ,
But dont know how to show it.
I have learned that when i am mad I have the RIGHT to be mad,
But it dont have the right to be mean,
I have learned that true friendship goes strong even when distance is involved,
The same happens with true love.
I have learnedthat, if someone doesnt love you the way you wanted,
It doesnt mean they dont love you with all their heart.
I have learner that, no matter how good is your friend
He will always hurt you from time to time,
And you will have to forgive him for that .
I have learned that it isnt always enought to be forgiven by others, SOmetimes you have to forgive yourself.
I have learned that it doesnt matter how bad you are suffering,
The world wont stop its course for your pain,
I have learned that the past and circumstances might influence your personality,
But YOU are responsable for WHAt you become.
I have learned that, if two people fight, it doesnt mean that they dont love each other,
But also if they dont fight , doesnt prove they love each other.
I have learned that sometimes you have to put the person FIRST
And not its acts.
I have learned that two people can look at the same thing
And see very different .
I have learned that no matter the consequences,
Those who are true to themselves reach higher,
I have learned that your life can be changed in a few hours,
By people that dont even know you
I have learned that when you thing you have nothing left to give,
When a friend needs you , you will find the strenght
I learned that writing , as talking
Can bring peace to you pain
I have learned that , the people you care most about ,
Are taken too quick...
I have learned that it is way to hard to realize,
Where to drw the line being courteous , not to offend people,and to sustain your own opinion.
I learned to love
So that I can be loved.

Time Forgets

I was listening to Yiruma`s Piano song "Time Forgets" at work because i was obliviously bored..like always.
What an odd name for a song , isn't it? I never given to much thought to classical music , to just simple music. Simple music that now makes my insides growl.
It is so true thought ...time passes even when you would want to keep it in place and never let go . I was never able to see myself as being a responsible person ,as i said in previous blogs. I never saw time like something that might end. The hours at school seemed the most difficult to pass. I really never thought at how fast the time flies by. I always heard people around me saying that they have so many things to do , and so little time in a day . I always thought that was strange. For me time, the hours in a day seemed to be never-ending. I never thought at the fact that one day i might lose all my friends, all my memories ,the life that I always knew and never fully appreciated it.
It is been three years since I have been in the States. For most people this a rather long time and most would say that three years is a long enough period to get "with the flow".
Even after this time, I can't really admit that I am fully comfortable here. I think I will never be, but at the same time it should`t be so hard, right?
I have been battling monsters in my head . I am afraid that somehow i will forget who I am , who I was when I came to the States, and on the other hand I like it here, and honestly I am ashamed to admit that. Call me patriotic, but when we left home, me and my mom , i was a kid. I had no clue about how life worked , or that maybe at some point in time I had to become responsible and forget about being all bubbly. SO i liked Romania because it basically had no rules. That doesn't mean there here no laws, it just means that no one is really afraid of them, because its been only 19 years since the Ceausescu Regime fell and there are still communists out there and usually in countries where communism was present , money, bribes work best even after so many years. And that is just because people got so used to it.
I had the freedom that a child needs. I always had the most exciting summer vacations, and all of a sudden all of that got taken away . It was sudden because i have never imagined it happen. We knew that we were coming to the States.
How i hate now the day ,he came back home , after 20 years looking for a lost love. He being my soon step-father. I has 13 when he came, if i remember right he came 5 or 6 years ago Christmas time. Like the adolescent that i was a started throwing fits...not because ,that's what i did on a regular basis , but because i was crazy jealous...! I haven't seen my mom with a guy for a long time..since she broke up with my favorite person Wolfgang:)
Ok so it took me more than 3 years to talk to this guy over the phone and usually when i did i was like "Yes, no, maybe and i don`t know" but somehow i started caring for him, i started to see him like father figure, slowly but surely. I was kind of excited to come to the States and be with him and my mom , a happy family. We were so wrong, we were so naive, we were new to this all to crazy country and its laws and to its crazy people. What happened , is kinda a long story and I don't really want to write all off it because Ive been trying to forget it all together. But in short, me and my mom left Chicago and went to Seattle, Washington all by ourselves , without knowing if we`ll gonna get thru it or were just gonna end up going back home after all. But nope , we stayed, we were fighters !Looking back at what we went thru it surprises me that we didn't go crazy.We had no clue whatsoever about the States but we decided that we wont back down, just "Let`s give it a try". I cant say i regret the decision because that's how i met Alex, but sometimes i wonder what would have happened if we would went back home when we had the chance...
Bringing me back to my point...the only thing that i was proud was the fact that i new how to chose friends. How wrong was I?! In less than 2 years I have lost most of my friend because of ways of communication and time zone...The only one that stood by "my side" was my best friend Andreea ...until recently . Uh and she proved to me that I have no clue to chose friends. We all know that when money is involved people go crazy ! And i truly hate people that ditch you , after you tell them that you don't have the means to do it. Besides envy, money can destroy friendships that lasted a lifetime. I don't care what others say, because now i believe it. It may sound childish but i deleted her out of my messenger list. As i said people like that are dead to me. And it is the best way to get over all that happened, she goes on , i go on like we never met and period. I know that is going to be hard, but i have NO intentions of looking back in the past! I am done, it is time for me to go on and prove to myself that i can go on , and to be happy once and for all

Long time

ITs been so long since i have tried to find myself. I guess you can say i have alot of free times on my hands.
But sometimes i feel like everything that is happening is just a dream , that i am just a rag doll that gets carried thru life, without her permission . How can you find yourself?!
Humpf i dont think i ever HAD myself , but i have never in my life felt so lost. Looking back in the past , it seems that, that girl always in pink and always smileing has gone far away, sometimes i cant even tell if it was me. I am not complaining because i grew up, we all grow up at one point in time. I just grew up way to FAST! In a matter of months my whole life changed and all of a sudden i had to become responsible.
I have never seen myself all grown up. Maybe i never wanted to see myself all grown up. I alway wanted to avoid all the harships that life might throw at just by ducking behind my mothers back.
HOw can i find myself when i dont even know what i want? Where i want to go?There is no point in looking back, I already know that, knew that since i left Romania.But now realizing that all the decisions that i might make, will affect me sounds horrible. Living on your own isnt always what you thought it would be. I was never the party type , but i thought that living without my mom ,and only with my boyfriend at that time , now my honey bunches of oats husband, wasnt all that i have imagined. I thought that all would be soooo easy !Wrong! And im not saying that because of my husband, we get along really great. Greater than i had ezpected, for that matter.I am saying this just because in some ways we are still kids. We both needed to grow up faster than it probably has the case.Even so, we are still kids. Weird how he always thinks that i know things that he doesnt. I still dont regret it. It is a new road , an exciting road that most dont want to face. I will never regret making that step!!

I love you BABE!!!!!

Morning

Another day ! How i hate waking up in the mornings!!! The good thing is that last night i took some Tylenol PMs so that ii would fall asleep faster! And this morning i didnt woke up being more tired than i was when i went to bed.eheheh. i have my alarm clock set at 6:45 but deh i snooz it until 7:20 ...i know lazy me..
ANd it is weird because i like being organized but in the morning when i wake up i cant find anything that i need for work!!!
This morning i jumped out of my bed because my husband came home from work...he is in the Marine Corps so yeah most of those who have spouses in the Corps know that schedule isnt always what they respect. So yeah he came home in a hurry because he had to change from his flight suit into his dessert camies and go back on base to do something...
Isually as i said i am very organized..and of course he isnt lol. He has no clue where his head is at either.So this morning he was freaking out cuz he couldnt find his belt or his cover. I know where everything of his is at, but i lose my head when it comes to fnding my own stuff.
I am so very bored! !!!!!! Help anyone?

Baby Names

I dont know what happened to me but i was online one day and i started looking for some baby names! And NO I am not pregnant and not planning on being for a long time.
The naes that i liked are mostly Greek , French and Slavonic of course..European anyways! Probably because of my mom..my name is Andrada- Raluca...
In history of Romania...Andrada was the first daco- woman to get married to a roman and she was also the first child of Burebista one of the first kings of Dacia...which later became Romania. So probably i got it from my mom!
Enjoy!
Greek
Girls:
ADriana-rich wealthy
Aleksey-protector of mankind
Alessa, noble ,truth
Alexia-defender of mankind
Alissa -noble truth
Damaris-gentle
Damiana -tamed, domesticated
Daria- wealthy
Dasha-gift of God
Karissa-love, grace
Lissa-the honeybee
Melina- gentle
Phoebe- radiant, bright
Selena-godess
Sophia-wisdom

Boys:
Aristo- best
Avram - the father of many
Christos or Hristos- Christ
Damian- tame
Dimitri- Belonging to Demeter
Dorian
Lucas- a man from Lucania
Stavros- crowned
Yannis- greek form og John



Latin: (note* they are not Latin names like in Spanish names)
Girls:
Amanda- worthy of love
Arabelle-lovable
Arabella- a beutiful altar
Carissa- the most beloved one

Boys:
Anthony- worthy of praise
Cassius- vain
Dominic- belonging to the Lord
Flavius- golden- haired
Florian- a flover blooming
Lucian- person of light
Marius- virile
Mark- from Marcus
Maximilian- the greatest


French:
Girls:
Elise- consacrated to GOd
Elle- she, a woman
Liana- to bind like a vine
Jonviev or Jonevievve( i think)
Sascha- the defender
Soleil- sun
Valerie-strong

Boys:
Dartagnan- leader and also the name of one of the mucheteers ehehe
Mark -warlike
Raoul-French form of Ralph


Slovonic( Serbian, russian, bulgarian, macedonian, romanian)
Girls:
Nadia- hope (russian)
Svetlana- light (serbian)
Aksana, Axana ( russian)
Oksana- glory to be God ( russian)
Sasha- the protector (russian)
Dragana (serbian)
Gordana (serbian)
Jadranka (serbian)
Marina (russian)
Eliksa- truthful (czech)
Ivana- God is gracious (czech)
Milena - the favoured (czech)
Basia- the foreigner ( polish)

Boys:
Vadim- a powerful ruler
Bogdan- gift from god
Dragan- the dear one (serbian)
Miroslav
Vladimir
Dejan (serbian)
Marco
Matthias
Slobodan - freedom
Stanimir
Stefan Viktor or Victor