Life..Ill kick u in the derriere!!!!

Pfff..whoever said growing up sucks is no joke .He had a clue what he was saying.It feels like im being hit from every corner of the field these days! Last week my cousin looked for me online...it should have struck me that something was wrong back home , because she rarely has time or isnt in the mood to talk to me .But last week she did ANd stupid me my uncle and my other cousin Vlad were looking for me too.At that point i was honestly affraid to call home for some reason .After days of dreading to talk home i finally got the chance to talk
to my cousin and she told me that for the past few weeks my grandpa had beein in the hospitals ,doctors not knowing whats wrong with him.
Of course i freaked out like crazy.
Heres my thing...i grew up without a dad( I really dont regret it) and i never met him( dont regret that either) because i had my grandpa and my uncle there always being a father figure for me( both of them ) but most of all my grandpa...I was his favorite because we lived in the same house since i was born , and he was my favorite.I always loved my mopm and grandma but with my grandpa there was something special. He used to take me to my dance lessons, used to go to the park with me . My grandparent basically raised me. My mom was always there too but she had a kindergarten to take care of and usually parents miss out on what happens with their own child , but can see perfectly whats going on with a strangers. And my mom was no exception to that rule!

So when i heard that my grandpa was sick my whole world seemed to fall down.I am here, i cant do anything about it and i feel like i would be the only one that would care for him the best. But i know that back home he is in good hands with all of the rest of my family.(Still...im the best:) )

I`ve never liked thinking abou tbad stuff happening to others just so they dont happened to me but the day i found out that my grandpa might have Alzhaimers i stopped carrying bout others. Why MY grandpa ? Why not other grandpa ??? I consider myself an orthodox but that day i forgott everything about being one ...Am i a bad person ? I dont know..but i sure know that there are people out there that feel the same way i do! U never know how you wopuld react in such situations untill something happens. I always used to see my grandpa as a hero ( still dio no matter what happens) and for some reason i always thought that bad things and maybe even death might pass him, because he is Mine!!! I dont care what happens to others !!( selfish , i know)
The fact that i might go back home some day and he might and might not recognize me really scares me! I always looked forward going home..this time i really dread going home because even if i dont want to realized it it might be the last time i will see my grandpa a relativly healthy and strong man !What would other do ?? Never go back home so that ill remember him like i know him or go home and see him slowly giving in into something that either doctor cant stop nor prevent?
How can you go against nature, against God?I used to think that i can go against nature and protect my grandparents from anything bad ..not so easy doing that being hundreds of kilometers away ( something i didnt considered coming to the states)and i guess not it is too late to back down and go back home. I will go visit , but i wont extend my visit there...

Twilight Quotes

Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. ….And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.

-Edward Cullen, New Moon

“If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I’m not ashamed of it.”
-Edward Cullen

And So the lion fell in love with the lamb.
What a stupid lamb.
What a sick masochistic lion.
-Edward & Bella


“Today is the first and last day of forever.” -Edward to Bella


About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

-Bella Swan, Twilight


I’m the world’s best predator, aren’t I? Everything about me invites you in — my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that!

-Edward Cullen, Twilight

Here it goes...

Ok ... so i tried really hard to like not think about the love story that goes on in the Twilight Saga. Obiviously thats not going to happen really soon . It just fascinates me how in these books the imposible becomes posible .First the whole vampire thing is imposible ,right? Then as we all know (from movies and stories) vampires dont have a heart, and the most deff can`t resist human scent or blood. So how come this vampire , this perfect in every sense vampire can fall in love with a human?
How much of a struggle was going inside him to resist not killing his prey? Because he fell in love first with her scent ..kinda love at first sight in a massochistic way. What was he feeling?
He was battleing the monster inside him and somehow his "heart " and better judgement won ..( he didnt wanted to be a monster)but how can you resist to something that just takes your breath away? "When her scent fogged my mind" what keeps him from not killing her?
Obession? Doing the right thing?
It is a sick romantic love story.
How far would I go for love i asked myself , but because i was never put in the situation i dont really think that i can answer. and those that say that they would give their life, lie. We are way to selfish to end our own lives for the person we love.Human instincts, if you want.
Bella is just a regular "human " ut she is soo different from others . She grew up way to fast and she was always "the weird one in the bunch". What makes the books so good is that even when she finds out he is a vampire , she continues to love him . How many of us can sa ythat hahaha??!
She is willing to give up anything just to be with him. Anything! Talk about being selfless!!!
The fact that the story has such a basic story line makes it even more pleasurable to read.
All women in the world dream about the perfect guy and in this books it so happens that Edward was literally the perfect man in the world . Manners, good looking( HOT) and willing to do anything in his powers to defend the love of his existence!

Long time...

Ahh its good to be back !
I`ve kinda busy with school ...all my midterms are coming up..and i decided i am not going to do the same mistakes i did before .This time "I Will Study" , Is said to myself! ( ha) ,but i never thought that itll be this easy to study. In part i was affraid of my math midterm because ,lets just say i am not the smartest heat in math...but i kept up with my homework and for some reason it doesnt look that scary anymore and its kinda fun...oh no what the heck am i saying??! ME liking math??! Its impossible!! I have never liked math(EVER)!
But hum i guess it all depends on the teacher that you have, and i was lucky enought to get a really ,really good one.
What can i say ?! Im a sucka for good teachers lol