Oh man , I am sooooo happy ! We got our Jetta back from the repair shop. Daydreaming again!* i promise ill slap myself* next time something like this happens.
Um , other than that , well a lot of drama. I know that most USMc wifes can say that , but oh no wait mine is better!
Besides a dumbass thats being trying to kill himself in from of his wife and step daughter and everybody getting divorced and moving out , there is not much else going on. And when i think that i could be stuck in the middle of it..*shivers*
But i gladly took myself out of it. I dont want to be mean and whoever takes this personal , well , that just sucks.
It is funny to see how young amerians get married. They have kids, as many as they can , and they they realize they arent made for each other. It is as simple as that. why the hell would you have kids , if dont really know if it is going to work? Think that a kid will solve it?..stupid! A kid isnt like a dog , you can just give away. Once you have it , you keep it ! im sorry for the example, its harsh but it is true.
*shivers* again. bleah well, since i put you guys in touch with all the drama in my life, how about some peep talk about how ..
how I cant freaking wait `til New Moon comes out??!
I already have my ticket, my tshirt the only thing lacking here is my patience * mumbles*...like i have lots of that!!!
Watch on Friday I get off work at 5...the movie starts at 7:30! If i ave to beat some 13 year old ass i will! I will be staying in a huge like , probably and i will be pisses as hell! So a 13 yeard old wont stay in my way of seeing the movie!
I WILL KICK ASS! Like Kung-fu stuff! or ill just limit myself at slapping and pulling hair, even thought i have a feeling i wont be goods at that either, since i have never got into a fight! ...hm..thats fine Jay will have my back!!
20 days...14 hours and 42 minutes :) buahahaha

so um, i have some news:) My 1st fanfic chapter got rejected( bastards) even thought i know it was my fault. I have so many thoughts rushing thru my head its not even funny. And if i dont put it on paper right away i will forget it. Seriously!
Meah, i promise i will changed it anyways, got a better idea:)
Other than that...Happy bday to a special someone that was part of my life, for a long time.
Like Narcis said. I will never deny, or resent my past.She was part of it , and I felt it would be nice to tell her "Happy Birthday" since she is turning 19.
Many things were said. I dont regret them because i feel that , they somehow proved my independence , my maturity (up to a certain level, everything beyond that , I dont take responsability for:)) , but I am also sorry because, I feel that two people that have manners, should never speak like that. Especially , since we both knew each other so well. We knew the low blows and I think we kind of got really low , this time. It felt more like I was breaking up with a boyfriend ( you know, throwing tantrums like a crazy kid, throwing diferent objects at each other), than what it really was.I decided to move on with my life , and let her be.( it wasnt easy , but i cant fight against time, just go with it.)
I can be very possesive , you know.

Regarding the earlier post.. I posted it just to let it all out. I guess I forgott to write about the part where , you can say I got my happy ending.
I wanted my story out there because I am pretty sure I am not the first one that went thru it and I probably wont the the last either, because this world is full of cowards.
I cant say I am living the "American Dream" but, I honestly dont think I want it anymore, anyways. There is to much pain , just because of this "Dream" that most people , end up despising because it steals their life, their years and their emotions. There are just to many meanings to the "American Dream " that I honestly think , that there is nothing left of it anymore.
I would love for you guys to argue that with me, actually I dare you guys to argue that with me:)

It is time..

..to tell the story.My story.The first year I got to the States.
*sigh* here goes nothing.
It was December 6th, 2006 when we got our visas. Me and mom. The whole process, happened so fast that, I honestly didnt, think about it , that much. I was just happy that I didnt had to go to school anymore.I was free of homework, teachers, reading and math.
We decided , that we would leave after , Christmas, sometime in February. We wanted to have one last Christmas with our family.
Thinking about it , I realized that i was about to leave everything behind. Mom, auntie, grandma, cooking in the kitchen, my grandpa helping peeling potatoes, getting the drinks ready, shoveling the snow outside...
We always waited to do the Christmas tree, on Christmas Eve, but since my birthday is on December 22nd , that year we decided that we need to do it early. I always used to do it with my cousin. I still remember , how unpatient i was, waiting for Vlad to come over and help me untangle the lights.
That year, i decided to decorate my Christmas tree, with my best friend Andreea. everything was perfect.Thats the moment , when i realized that ,i would terribly miss the girl that was part of my life for the past 12 years.I think thats when both of us realized what was about to happen. We would be separated.
If I would have to be honest , at the beggining i didnt like the guy . It took me three years , before i started talking to him on the phone , whenever he called.I just used to throw a "Yes", "No", "I dont know" in there and i was done with him. I was the tipical single child , that only had mom . I was jealous of this guy that just dropped in our lives and claimed that he loved my mom. I remember the day he took a shower in out bathroom , i totally freaked out! i started yelling at my mom that she needs to get him out!
I never threw any tantrums, but , i was jealous . Well, , I got over it , after my mom asked me if i wanted her to be alone for the rest of her life..
It was something , i never wanted for her, so i started thinking that maybe this is what was best.
I was never good at goodbyes, and the fact that half my family and friends came at the airport didnt make it easier ,either. It was the most heartbreaking thing , that ever happened to me. Seeing my grandpa, my uncle, my best friend , cry. My grandpa never cries. But seeing his face that morning broke me inside.
We landed in the States , in chicago , Illiois , at O'Hare Airport. I was mesmerized. The highways, the buildings , the cars, the people.
The American Dream , that I was just about to start experiencing...or so i thought..
I was never good at being social , because i was shy, and me being put in a totally different enviroment that i was used too, killed it.But I tried.
Before me and mom , Gala had a family. An ex-wife and two daughters..and since i was an only child i was overly exctided that i would have 2 sisters. I was wrong again.
The only thing i got from them were screms and cussing.They were afraid that i wouls steal their daddy`s money. humpf, i only thought that they were jealous.
but well making the long story short....They started threatening me, calling me, you know the whole shabang.
One day when he came to pick me up from school , when we got home , his ex-wife, was waiting for us in the drive way. She got out of the car and came at my window , yelling and calling me, my mom and grandparents names. I dont really care if ppl offend me, but when you mess with mom and grandpa and grandpa , its game on. I tried really hard to igonore her, because i was educated to do so. To respect adults. I tried getting out of the car, and pass her when she came in my face and called my mom a "whore".Uh! Bad choice lady!
At that moment, i asked very nicely to back up, because i was getting very, very pissed. She had no right , to sat these things to me. I had done nothing to her. And I am guessing she was just in creaming and yelling mode, because she wouldnt stop.
So , what was I to do?Well, being the respectful child that i was , i told her to" back off and stop yelling at me , or ill spit on her head and then wipe it off"( since she was round like a ball and much much more shorter than me). Um thats when my mom came down , and shoved me in the house and we went up. Gala stayed down with her, but that lady kept yelling. At one point, and it all happened very , very quickly , he came inside and dialed 911, si the cops can come and take her off the propriety.I was shocked. I always knew cops in the States came fast, because i watched shows...but i have never thought i would get the chance to see it. In less than 5 minutes 4 cop cars were in fron of our appartment.Like i said i was shocked.I have never had problems with the cops before in my life, and i couldnt really process what happened around me anymore.I was getting to a point where , all i wanted to do was to get out. to pull my hair out! To cuss at him for lieing! For making me trust him. for making mom trust his dumbass.He had been here for more than 15 years ,and has no credit whatsoever. He let me and mom , go look at houses, and decide on one, just to find out that when we were in the process of buying it, no bank was loaning him money because he was once bankrupt and had no credit. Well, he had credit, but not what you would expect a romanian person to have after being here for more than 15 years. We were shocked. My mom was so dissapointed , that i thought we were just on the edge of packing out things and go back home.
The rusning point that made us leave chicago , was the phone call i reveived while in Hone Depot looking for a nice rug.It was i thing the day before Easter. As i picked up there was a voice that asked me " Are you afraid ,bitch?" " you should be"
I freaked out. Thats when my mom decided that we had to leave. But of course , we didnt go home..mom had a friend in Seattle, that offered to help us with whatever she could. so intead of taking the first flight back home, we ended up in a completely unknown state. Just me and my mom.
I woke up, renting a motel room , and thinking about how this was going to be "my house" for i didnt know how long.
I never knew what hate was, until i met this guy! I hated him , hate him and i will always hate him with everything i have.You took my life away! A life that i was good at, a life that i enjoyed having.
I really hope you rott in hell, even thought i know it isnt good to have these feelings, i cant change them. I have never been more disgusted with someone more than i am with this man , that doesnt have what it take to have a family!

Old memories, still the same ! Neverending and never dying !

I was looking thru the pictures from back home..
Mostly family. Friends, a few but not as many as I always thought I had.
I was looking over them and i realized that for each member of my family i have something to be thankful for.
My Grandpa( "my dad") he made me the person that i am today. He was always there, maybe even more than a grandpa is there for his granddaughter. He will never know how much i love him, because , you see, i have this problem with saying "I love you". You can say that he is the apple of my eye. He is the one person in this world that will always have a place in my heart. No matter ,where I am , no matter what I do, i do it for him. To make him proud!
My Grandma: the only woman , besides my mom , that i would give my life for. Her stories will always be with me. She often use to tell me :" i might not have school knowledge, but i have life experience to guide me". I always too her , her stories for granted. I would give anything to have them back.
My uncle (2nd "dad"): Thank you ! For loving me! For teaching me math problems, in my first years of school, for tutoring me, for having patience with me! For being more than an uncle!
My auntie: Again, thank you! Thank you for giving me another set of wonderful grandparents! Thank you , for taking care of me , and listening to me when i didn't had it so good.
Tata Ion: I know you are no longer with us and its been 8 years since you passed away, but you re still in my heart. you weren't my grandpa by law nor blood, but that never mattered to you. You still loved me like i was one of your own. It doesn't hurt as much to remember you, nor do i cry as much , but I still remember you!
Mami Neli: Thank you ! again for being the grandma that took me under your wing , even if i wasn't your blood! I will forever be thankful for your love for me!
Roxi; I know we never had anything to say to each other, but time and life made us grow closer! thank you for listening to me at my worst , at my best and all the times in between. I love you more than you know, even thought i never told you this!
Vlad: Well, we always used to fight! You were the bigger cousin. Remember when you put me in the water grandpa used to filter?! Yeah i didn't forget that. Nor the times when we used to play soccer in the front yard and break grandpas flower pots. Nor the times we used to go out to the movies! I love you , cousin , even is I am so far apart from you guys!
For all the other members that I have...Thank you for all the wonderful memories that you gave me! i remember every single Christmas , Easter and every single birthday!
My mom:
..Mom i know that i dont tell you how much i love you , but never doubt that i do! i am not used to saying i love you , because i always have the impression that everybody around me knows that already. Thank you for helping me become who i am today! Never doubt the way , you raised me, the values you taught me!I love you!

People , are you crazy?!

Ok, wow i am amazed! Yes i love Twilight , but I love it because of New moon! If People would just let themselves see, or at least try to imagine the pain you go thru when you lose someone , maybe then...
dont even come back at me with replies, you cussing at me because , that just shows me how stupid you are! find some whitty replies, people! Cussing is the easiest way out!

Here is the thing!
Yeah Stephanie`s story might be all wrong , but you are you to say it is?! If you are a writer yeah , then , that gives you the right. All of you seemed to love Harry Potter ( i do too), but isnt that kind of fictional too?!
Or what you believe in MAGIC , now? come on...
Most videos on YouTube state that vampires dont sparkle and die in the sunlight! first of all!
There are no vampires!
Bram Stoker was an bored ass , that had nothing better to do ,then distort my country`s history!
Vlad The Impaler wasnt a vampire People!!! Im kinda growing tired of stating this!
He was just a good fighter!! A good ruler that didnt accept traitors and didnt have pitty for his enemies!!!
He was perfectly fine...no sucking blood, no "boom" in the sunlight, no coffins! and no he never dranked his enemies blood after a battle..Those are German and fucking hungarian stories about him( btw did i ever mentioned how much i hate hungarians?)
Geez people can you be more stupid , saying vampires dont sparkle?
That " My vampires go boom in the sunlight?"
Vampires dont exist ! It was just a really ,really bad story !
I bet most of you watched "Interview with a vampire " and thought it was hot because of Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, or maybe because it wasnt written by a mormon!
what the hell is with you guys , passing judgments?! Saying that , oh just because she is mormon! Vai si amar de capul vostru!( i had to say it in romanian).People are entitled to their own opinions, but there are some weird ppl out there that are so passionate about hating Twilight that freaks me out!
We got it! U dont like it! Bummer, move on ! Stop wasting your time on, telling people you hate Twilight!
Yeah she might over reacted with making Bella clumsy and stuff, but it is all fiction! everything can happen!
so now...how many of you watch True Blood ?! oh but that is a good series right? Or maybe Blade? some of you can be so fake! Just because Blade kills vampire and he doesnt sparkle, that doesnt make him any more real than Edward Cullen is!
As for the warewolves, well, in our mithology they eat the sun and yhe Moon and all of that. I dont want to go into the whole thing with thwe Varcolaci because , well thats something i dont really believe in . And before you even start yelli
ng and stuff, No i dont believe in Vampires either! I just like the book!

Here is some help for you guys!

http://www.monstropedia.org/index.php?title=Strigoi
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strigoi

http://vampires.monstrous.com/romanian_vampires.htm
http://www.draculas.info/vampires/romania/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vlad_III_the_Impaler

I really hope you guys get tired of believing that the world just revolves around what we are shown on tv...she went ouside the lines and everybody is passing judgements because she is mormon!!
You small minded people!

:) I am back~

Ok, so everyone that knows me, already know that my office is full of poster, of a certain Cullen hottie!Just 4 big ones,fair enought right?
So I came back from forks and La Push a little down because either Edward nor Jacob came out to met me ( what a shame!*sobs*) and i woke up at freaking 5 o'clock so that we can take the ferry from Edmonds really early , so we can be there at a good hour.. I think we got to Forks at 9 something :) ( i am so very proud of myself), because i only did that trip once, before all of this Twilight crap , that my life seems bo be centered around lately, happened.
Ok so we got to forks and um , all around town , you can see Twilight stuff and most of all Twilight Heaven!!! sickeeeee!!! "Dazzled by Twilight" is heaven for Twihards!
Of course I bought something!( youd really think i would just go there and not buy anything?)
I keep it simple thought! First of all because I was with Narcis, a friend of mine, that, of course kept making fun of me and Twilight( next time ill forget im in a store and ill slap the s*** outta you !) and second of all , i kept thinking that Alex was going to make me chose between him and Edward.Sooo...i just bought some stickers..( even thought that hoodie looked good too. it was way to much and i didnt want to break alexs heart)
A Team Edward and a Twihard one oh yeah and a fridge magnet that clearly states the following: " I am in love with a fictional character".
I dont really know what planet was I on , when i bought the stickers and planned to put them on the back of the Jetta, honestly. Alex was about to rip my head off , when i told him about it..*bummer*..*sights* ill still find something to stick them on ! I am a smart girl! and i wont back down til i do!
The other day I was of course in my "art studio" reading some fanfiction , when alex comes in and starts playing with the dogs. We started talking about Twilight of course! Every single chance i get i suck him in!!(muahahaha) and after me mentioning Edwards name a couple of times , alex was like lets just call him "Him" because its obvious he doesnt like the fellow!
So Edward became Him "whos name we do not mention in this house"..oh well as long as he'll listen to me talk about him , without making fun of me , i Am glad~ Thats a step forward!

Ok , here we can discuss more important subject like " why do I like Twilight?"or better said New Moon...
Here goes nothing!...
I am very similar to Bella, or at least my story is very similar to hers, her feelings. When i left home , i felt just like she did. Like part of me died. Like i left part of me there, and just like her , i am never going to get it back , even if ,now after three and a half years , i feel ok . It is something that will always be there, just a constant reminder of what i went thru. She lost her true love, her soul mate, I lost my teenage years, my grandparents, my family, my life.
She is stronger than me thought. she started picking herself up after a few months, it took me years before, i felt "whole" again, but i did. I had moments in which i felt like i was losing myself, and then i realized that life doesnt stop for me. It had to be my choice: keep going under, or confront my feelings, and life.I learned to forgive, but never forget! i leanrned how to distrust people, how to keep my feelings to myself and always question peoples intentions.
It is not as much because of Him, but because i can understand what she went thru all of those months. I know how it feels to question your sanity, and to ask yourself if everything you lived before was just a dream , i know how it feels like when you dont seem to fit in, to have to call a place home, even when it doesnt feel like one, i have been there.
People may feel sorry for her , but for those that never went thru something like that( not talking only about losing a true love), there will always be a gap.
It is a gut wrenching feeling when you realize that at some point in life, people, friends family will never be able to help you , that you find yourself in a deep hole , that seems without end.
and then when everything seems , to be getting back on track, there is always something coming back to hunt you. Like when Alice came back . For me , after going home , questions and guilt for not spending more time with my grandparents will always be there. That "What if..?" question can be a bitch!
But people always had an outstanding power to survise, to move on , even if they are dead inside...